From general perspective, culture is people’s way of life but will vary from region to region. Kenyans and Ugandans would be surprised by the ways of the kurya community, in the Mara region of western Tanzania.In this part of the world a woman can marry a fellow woman and live together as wife and husband and the wife obeys what the husband wants. This is wakurya culture. It is not unusual for a woman to marry a man, but its normal that women maries another woman provided that a woman ‘husband’ has a sizable herd and is wealth. She may then marry a fellow woman is search of an heir.
One may ask, how can it be? Yes it does happen and these couples live a good life and have as many children as possible. however the husband can order the wife to sire children with a suitor of her choise.these children bear the family name of the husband who is essentially the head of the farmily.it is intriguing but then …..It is culture; it is the norm. A practice that has been there for ages.
General accepted marriage.
Marriage takes place when two people male and female agree and accept each other to live forever as a wife and a husband, in biblical teachings, a man and a woman once they have agreed to marry each other they are swooned before church leaders to live as a wife and husband till death do them apart and not otherwise. in quaranic teachings marriage indeed states involving a male and a female to join together and form a family of which the husband is to be incharge of the family and even children born they bear the name of the father and not the mother.
And in most African tribes, the same applies where marriage is between a male and female partner and it is an obscene for partners of the same sex to live as a wife and a husband and one performing the role of a husband and one the role a wife. it is culturally an obscene in Africa especially east Africa.
Women to women marriages
you can be surprised in the fact that in western Tanzania in Mara region, among the Kurya societies and communities legally practice women to women marriage and they live as wife and husband where one woman plays the role of a wife and another the role of a husband.
How can it be? Yes it can be! in this case the elderly woman especially widowed woman who is wealth and indeed she don’t have a son who will inherit her wealth when she dies, can opt for marrying a young girl who can bare children for the name of the woman husband, and in other factors is for female labour for the rich woman husband.
”This is the custom of orderly women procuring young girls whom they go through a marriages ceremony appears to be prevalent among tribes with widely different origins and customs. The purchase money as misnamed "dowry" and the woman husband becomes absolute owner of the girl.” Said Ramadan Marwa a resident of Musoma This is however the practice for rich widows who are too old to attract men herself to marry a young girl whose work is to look after her. Such young girls are in fact slaves and take lovers in accordance with the orders of their female husband. If any child is born to the young girls, they are considered as the children of the widow and her deceased husband and use his name as their patronymic. Marwa indeed said that Woman to woman marriages is today mainly contracted by independent women who have accumulated wealth and who seek to protect their wealth against male relatives.
Such women take on the role of men and should be looked upon as "female husbands". Although wealth accumulation by women may be a factor accounting for the increased occurrence of woman to woman marriages.
In such cases, women are more comfortable when they marry to their fellow women because doing so, they are free from men’s harassment as sometimes are subjected to beatings and torture as the culture of wakurya which states that a husband have to beat a wife being culturally recognized as the sign of love.Nyambuge Chacha who is married to a woman said that she enjoy being married to her fellow woman because by doing so she is free to date a man she want and not subjected to one man only.
“My woman husband is treating me very good and I like this life, as am free as life of my own though I get orders from my husband and I respond positively, I have two children and my husband is old,so my children will inherity more than one thousand cows and two houses” said Nyambuge while louphing.These women to women marriage practicing in this area, the practice is clearly disrupting the male domination operating in their everyday lives, their stories may begin with land and struggles over material resources, but they are also stories of love, commitment, children, sexual freedom, vulnerability, and empowerment. The "implosion" of all these things makes these women's stories unique and all the more compelling to feminists who are constantly searching for unique practices of feminism that resemble, but are not engineered by, western feminism
Rhobi Itinde said that though the practice of women marrying women is now disappearing, but the fact is that there are some places which still practice and also her cousin is married to a rich woman in a nearby village.“My own cousin is married to an old woman in a near village, she has two male children and because of these two male childrens, the woman husband’s family are happy and she is enjoying been in that life” said Rhobi.
She also continued that despite the positive side of the practice culturary, it is very dangerous in the age of HIV/AID, as a woman husband may order you to date with a man of her choice and as a wife you must respond to that with an intention of making sure that you get pregnant with the man without considering the possibility of sexual transmited deseases.
Legal dilemma:
“this women to women marriage has a legal dilemma where by a women marrying another woman is recognized under local customary law declaration and, if so, what right does such a relationship confer to the ‘marrying’ woman and/or her husband in respect of such ‘wife’ and her children, during the subsistence of such relationship”. Said Issaya Kebacho a practising lawyer.
Isaya futher said “the Customary Law (Declaration) Order did not provide for a marriage between a woman and another woman. Thus, although the practice of a woman marrying another woman might have been recognized among the members of the Wasimbiti (kurya) tribe, it was abolished by the Declaration ……. The practice therefore ceased to be binding among the members of that tribe as of the date the Declaration came into force in (Tarime) district and as such it cannot be adjusted by courts".
One may ask, how can it be? Yes it does happen and these couples live a good life and have as many children as possible. however the husband can order the wife to sire children with a suitor of her choise.these children bear the family name of the husband who is essentially the head of the farmily.it is intriguing but then …..It is culture; it is the norm. A practice that has been there for ages.
General accepted marriage.
Marriage takes place when two people male and female agree and accept each other to live forever as a wife and a husband, in biblical teachings, a man and a woman once they have agreed to marry each other they are swooned before church leaders to live as a wife and husband till death do them apart and not otherwise. in quaranic teachings marriage indeed states involving a male and a female to join together and form a family of which the husband is to be incharge of the family and even children born they bear the name of the father and not the mother.
And in most African tribes, the same applies where marriage is between a male and female partner and it is an obscene for partners of the same sex to live as a wife and a husband and one performing the role of a husband and one the role a wife. it is culturally an obscene in Africa especially east Africa.
Women to women marriages
you can be surprised in the fact that in western Tanzania in Mara region, among the Kurya societies and communities legally practice women to women marriage and they live as wife and husband where one woman plays the role of a wife and another the role of a husband.
How can it be? Yes it can be! in this case the elderly woman especially widowed woman who is wealth and indeed she don’t have a son who will inherit her wealth when she dies, can opt for marrying a young girl who can bare children for the name of the woman husband, and in other factors is for female labour for the rich woman husband.
”This is the custom of orderly women procuring young girls whom they go through a marriages ceremony appears to be prevalent among tribes with widely different origins and customs. The purchase money as misnamed "dowry" and the woman husband becomes absolute owner of the girl.” Said Ramadan Marwa a resident of Musoma This is however the practice for rich widows who are too old to attract men herself to marry a young girl whose work is to look after her. Such young girls are in fact slaves and take lovers in accordance with the orders of their female husband. If any child is born to the young girls, they are considered as the children of the widow and her deceased husband and use his name as their patronymic. Marwa indeed said that Woman to woman marriages is today mainly contracted by independent women who have accumulated wealth and who seek to protect their wealth against male relatives.
Such women take on the role of men and should be looked upon as "female husbands". Although wealth accumulation by women may be a factor accounting for the increased occurrence of woman to woman marriages.
In such cases, women are more comfortable when they marry to their fellow women because doing so, they are free from men’s harassment as sometimes are subjected to beatings and torture as the culture of wakurya which states that a husband have to beat a wife being culturally recognized as the sign of love.Nyambuge Chacha who is married to a woman said that she enjoy being married to her fellow woman because by doing so she is free to date a man she want and not subjected to one man only.
“My woman husband is treating me very good and I like this life, as am free as life of my own though I get orders from my husband and I respond positively, I have two children and my husband is old,so my children will inherity more than one thousand cows and two houses” said Nyambuge while louphing.These women to women marriage practicing in this area, the practice is clearly disrupting the male domination operating in their everyday lives, their stories may begin with land and struggles over material resources, but they are also stories of love, commitment, children, sexual freedom, vulnerability, and empowerment. The "implosion" of all these things makes these women's stories unique and all the more compelling to feminists who are constantly searching for unique practices of feminism that resemble, but are not engineered by, western feminism
Rhobi Itinde said that though the practice of women marrying women is now disappearing, but the fact is that there are some places which still practice and also her cousin is married to a rich woman in a nearby village.“My own cousin is married to an old woman in a near village, she has two male children and because of these two male childrens, the woman husband’s family are happy and she is enjoying been in that life” said Rhobi.
She also continued that despite the positive side of the practice culturary, it is very dangerous in the age of HIV/AID, as a woman husband may order you to date with a man of her choice and as a wife you must respond to that with an intention of making sure that you get pregnant with the man without considering the possibility of sexual transmited deseases.
Legal dilemma:
“this women to women marriage has a legal dilemma where by a women marrying another woman is recognized under local customary law declaration and, if so, what right does such a relationship confer to the ‘marrying’ woman and/or her husband in respect of such ‘wife’ and her children, during the subsistence of such relationship”. Said Issaya Kebacho a practising lawyer.
Isaya futher said “the Customary Law (Declaration) Order did not provide for a marriage between a woman and another woman. Thus, although the practice of a woman marrying another woman might have been recognized among the members of the Wasimbiti (kurya) tribe, it was abolished by the Declaration ……. The practice therefore ceased to be binding among the members of that tribe as of the date the Declaration came into force in (Tarime) district and as such it cannot be adjusted by courts".
Legally, Issaya said that the only remedy for people who still recognized customs concerning such marriages, to have disputes arising from such customs settled within their tribal councils, if such councils exist. They (could) not resort to the courts for remedy since such customs are not recognized in the declaration. The marriage Act of 1971 of the constitution of the united republic of Tanzania recognizes the male to female marriage and not otherwise.
As a result of harsh economic condition, today, it has been possible for a wife married to a female husband to be without a specific appointed male consort (umutwari) in which case, she enters into sexual relationship with lovers who may be anonymous. Such a consort is said to assume the rights of a husband in some respects (which shouldn't be the case) while disregarding a husband's responsibilities in others.
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